Interlude – The Power of Tart

This is not part of the generation, I don’t think.  Just the mad/insane ramblings of an old lady who had consumed (too much) rum and Mt. Dew on a Friday night.

Sober A/N: The lag from the last chapter ticked me off.  I grabbed the save file and moved it to a different file heading in Any Game Starter.  I only took my mods folder and save file.  From the downloads folder, I only took hair, shoes and makeup.  A lot of people will need new hairdos, because I seem to have forgotten some.  Poor Fudge.

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I woke up this morning and realized that I was old.  Over the hill.   A few years away from the retirement home.   I decided the military wasn’t my thing.

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How can I be a 4-star general with a daughter that can’t figure out if she is a purple bunny or
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Or a purple Cheetah?  I pondered this for a while.  Then I realized that my baby brother and three of my kids were getting on the bus, I decided to scold Pumpkin for no reason whatsoever.

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I was giving Pumpkin a belated birthday present (an apple seed), when she said that she would prefer a magic trick.   I have been a Fire chief and a low level Corporal.  What do I know about magic tricks??  I love my youngest little girl, so I will do whatever I need to in the quest to give her great magic.

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She should have been at school, but instead we stood outside talking and telling jokes.  This is when I realized that I had ignored my family.  Mango was gone and I barely knew him.  Papaya was going to be next followed closely by Orange and Kiwi.  All those years gone.  It is now my intention to change all of that.

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Bad parenting or not, I let Pumpkin skip school this day, but told her to do her homework from yesterday anyway.

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I went online and applied for a Magician’s job after telling Jenn I didn’t want to be in the military anymore.  Since it is her job to make sure all my wishes come true, here we are.

My new wand came in the mail today.   You’re dying to know my stage name aren’t you?  No, Harry Potter was taken.  I chose the Power of Tart.  It was really a title my brother got saddled with, but he has basically become Public Enemy Numero Uno.  He has to hide from all of his enemies these days.

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WTF?

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How am I supposed to amaze my kids if I keep failing?

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I know!  I will practice at the park..and meet new people for I wish too..I just don’t know why!

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Hi, pointy proprietor person!  I wanted to meet someone new.  So, here I am meeting someone new.
Shelby Sharpe:  “‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways'”
Fudgy:  Yeah, Let me count the steps as I runaway….

Woah, my brother, Pineapple, is having a seriously bad hair day.

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P-apple:  The Power of Tart cannot function with bad hair.  The PoT (dies laughing) must have new hair, dammit.

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Right hand: Pot is an idiot.  A stupid idiot with really great hair!

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Left and right hands:  P-apple is a loser.  P-apple sucks at the baby making competition.  P-apple can’t keep a woman…

Jenn noticed when redoing Pineapple’s hair that he is full adult.  I’m not afraid that this fact combined with alcohol almost made me cry.

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Pineapple (talking to his hands):  You are stooopid!  I don’t want more kids.  I have no interest in the ones I have.  I want to stand in the park and scratch my butt all day long.
Hands:  No, we don’t want to scratch it.

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Fudge:  Hey, little brother!  How you likin’ the new town?
Pineapple: New town sucks.  I actually have to earn a place in the females’ beds.
Fudge:  Yeah, you might want to tone down your insanity.  I almost ran away before saying hi.  Also, the fact that you have 15 enemies is not helping you in the female department.

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Fudge:  I hear that if I stick this rather large quarter in your ear, I will be able to take over your mind for an hour.

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P-apple:  No way!?!  Really?  I have a lot of quarters.  Females of the town, Watch OUT!
Fudge:  I better go.  (backs away slowly) No telling what the family has gotten up to with me not around.

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P-apple.  Okay, but let me take a photo real quick.  I want proof that I knew you before you were famous.
Fudge:  Um, we’re brothers.  I’ve known you since you were born.
P-apple:  Oh yeah.  I see you so rarely, that I forgot.

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